{Second Time Around}

I was pretty quiet on the blog about our first IUI (intrauterine insemination) that got us pregnant with Delainey, I am not sure why that was - I think I just got so excited we were pregnant I literally put the whole process & last 2.5 years behind us. I was totally open to talking about it and had many women email me with questions and I LOVED that. Having someone to talk to who had been there was so helpful for me so I was more than thrilled to be there for others. I am an open book - I think it deserves to be talked about, it doesn't have to be this big secret.
Already I have had many emails asking about what we did this time around and asking if we had to get help again. So I sat down last night with my invisible glass of wine and my non-invisible bowl of ice cream and I decided to share our story this time around.

I will say I was in a much better frame of mind going into fertility treatments this time around. Last time we had spent a year trying on our own and then we spent another year plus some working with the fertility team before we did our IUI and at that point I was DONE, broken down, tired and ready for something to finally work. This time my heart was already so full that I was totally ok when each month went by and I wasn't pregnant. We knew we hoped to have one more babe but I was totally, 100% thankful we were able to have Delainey in the first place that I was sort of in the mind set that "what will be will be" and if we were just meant to have Delainey I was ok with that. I already had an amazing family and was totally fulfilled. Infertility got the best of me the first time - I wasn't going to let it get me this time.

{This post is going to be wordy and may be too much information for some so feel free to skip this post}

We decided we would just let my body do it's thing after Delainey was born and if we got pregnant on our own at any time then great. If not - we would call to book another appointment with the fertility clinic after Delainey's first birthday. We were able to get into the fertility clinic much quicker this time because we already had a chart number, we knew what our plan would be and didn't have to do any of the initial tests. I was really thankful for this but part of me also felt bad because I knew there were also many couples out there waiting to get into the clinic for the first time and here we were just walking in. I was so torn.

We met with our doctor on November 11th. He was amazing. He is very to the point and doesn't beat around the bush. I was dreading this visit thinking he would want me to start back where we started on our journey to Delainey because before our IUI he was always SO sure we could get pregnant on our own.

{So thankful for this man and his team}

But he looked at my charts from my IUI and commented that he was utterly shocked we got pregnant the month we did as I had 1 follicle. They compared this to a bubble bath {although a slight exaggeration} - most women have a bath full of bubbles at that time of the month. I had 1 bubble. Who became our Delainey.
So with that he said we were more than likely going to need another IUI and we were welcome to jump into that as soon as we wanted to. 

He did offer us a few options though.
1. Try 3 months of Letrazol alone. [Which along with the injectables and the IUI - is the drug I was on when we got pregnant with Delainey. Pretty much the same drug as Clomid but I had no success with Clomid alone for the 6 cycles I was on it so requested a drug change for our IUI.]
2. Do 1-3 months of Letrazol and if no success book an IUI along the way.
3. Do an IUI as soon as soon we wanted (along with the injectables and Letrazol).

So he gave us a prescription for Letrazol and told us to think about it and keep his office posted. 
We decided to give Letrazol alone a try and just play it by ear.

To be totally honest we weren't counting on Letrazol working on it's own but we decided we weren't in a huge rush and we had nothing to lose trying. Plus it would have been really amazing to not need an IUI again.
Month 1 was unsuccessful.
During our 2nd month and after having a constant headache, feeling lethargic and having an awesome bloated belly for 7+ weeks {side effects from the drug} I asked Justin what he thought of doing an IUI our 3rd round of Letrazol knowing I could only be on the drug for 3 months before they make you take a month off. He was game so we called the fertility clinic to inquire.

{As luck would have it on the 2 year anniversary of having our IUI the clinic called me back to answer my questions about booking our IUI. I about fell over when the nurse I was talking to told me SHE was the one who did our IUI that ultimately gave us Delainey.
If you know me you can probably guess what happened next. 
I was a blubbering mess crying, thanking her over and over and telling her how she HAD to do our next IUI for us cause she is a pro!! We laughed, she was so sweet and thankfully it didn't sound like she thought I was a crazy person even though I clearly was acting like one. She actually saw our file and switched with another nurse once she noticed she was on our file the first time. If I could have hugged her over the phone she most definitely would have thought I was a crazy person cause I may not have let go. How do you thank someone for doing something for you like that?! Something we couldn't do on our own and then giving us something that means the world to us now. It's a really crazy feeling.
Anyways she answered all our questions and got us set up in case month 2 was unsuccessful as well.}

As we suspected month 2 was a bust as well so we called the clinic, started month 3 of Letrazol and began going to the clinic every 2 days for pelvic ultrasounds {to determine when/if my follicles were mature enough to release an egg}. Right from the get go this cycle was different from our cycle with Delainey which right away made me nervous. 
With Delainey we only require 1 ultrasound and then it was go time. This time after my first ultrasound I had no follicles.

2 days later I had very few baby follicles but they weren't nearly big enough.


Feeling defeated and scared that we would miss ovulation entirely I went into my third ultrasound. I had a different doctor than the first 2 times {not our Dr for any ultrasounds} who I thought was great and he was very chatty and answered all these questions I all of a sudden had. He showed me the screen of the pelvic ultrasound as he measured my sporadic follicles. Finally I had 3 on my left side and they were all over the minimum in size. We got word that it was go time for our IUI in 48 hours.

I'm not sure why but this time around I was much more in need of information. I wanted to know ALL the details and why. I think the first time around it was just so new to me and I was a deer in headlights most of the time.

Each time I was at the Fertility Clinic this time around though I was reminded of how lucky we were - even though I hated sitting in that FULL waiting room with a passion and that we had to pay someone to get us pregnant AGAIN. I was surrounded by families all in the same position as we were BUT I heard women talking about having a 12 week cycle and being back for more drugs to try and stop the cycle. Women who had driven 15 hours for an appointment and then having to worry about keeping her $8,000 worth of drugs cold enough on the drive home. I witnessed families putting $14,000 on 3 separate credit cards for their next procedure. It made me so sad, sick to my stomach, guilty for feeling defeated with my situation but thankful. So so gosh darn thankful. And REALLY hating infertility and the fact that there is no funding to support these families.

Last time around I had Justin do my hCG injection in the tummy but this time around I decided I could do it myself. So I set my alarm for 11:00pm that night and was pretty proud of myself if I'm being totally honest BUT it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. {hCG injection is to trigger the egg's release}

The day of our IUI thankfully was on a Thursday so Justin went for his appointment in the early morning and then was able to hangout with Delainey in the late morning for mine.

{That's another thing: We COULD have taken Delainey with us and Justin could have joined me for all my appointments and ultrasounds like he did last time but we really weren't comfortable bringing Delainey with us. There are many families that do bring their first born with them but it was a choice we made not to. Thankfully Justin was around or Gramma Debbie was around even though we had to tell a couple white lies so she didn't know what we were up to. We wanted to surprise family this time instead of them knowing what day I was taking a test on after our IUI}

The nurse who did our IUI wasn't the same one as our first IUI but after this whole cycle being so different than our IUI with Delainey I was ok with it/didn't cry! ha ha ;) She was great, was super chatty and informative which I totally needed. It's not the most comfortable procedure but it's quick and painless really.

After the procedure you basically just go on as normal. They say to not workout for that day and to take it easy which I happily did. I had quite bad cramping this time around and it lasted for quite some time which again was different from last time. I also had cramping throughout the next few weeks as we waited which really worried me, made me lose a little hope and I struggled with it a bit but we waited. We kept our fingers, toes and tongues crossed and waited some more. You are told to wait 18 days post IUI which we did with Delainey so I told myself I had to do again even though it landed on a Monday and I couldn't imagine having to go to work if we got good news or bad news. And even though technically I was 6 day late I was not sure what sort of news to expect.

Thankfully - some how we got lucky again and we saw this.

We could not believe it. It really was too good to be true. We found what works for us. 
I called the clinic to tell them and the nurse I talked to made sure I knew how lucky we were. She said most couples require up to 3 IUIs until they are successful and often have no success with them at all and ours were successful on the first try both times. We are so incredibly grateful.

Whew! That was a novel. I will end by saying never to give up hope. It's worth the wait.
If you have any questions feel free to email me. xo

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Ashley said...

Love this and I am soo happy it worked out again!! I couldn't be happier for you guys and I'm glad you didn't have to wait years again!

Murdock's mama said...

I'm in tears over here. Praise God! SO stinking happy for you guys! Miss D is going to be the best Big Sis!!!

Bex said...

Wow. What a journey. You're so strong to go through all of that. Let me just say, the thought of giving myself an injection makes me want to vomit.

Congrats again. <3

Courtney Kassner said...

So, SOO excited for you and thankful you get another little blessing!

Whit said...

So proud of you for writing this and sharing your story. I truly believe we are all given only the amount we can endure and in the end I think it gives us purpose when we conquer what we endure and can relate and encourage others. You have been and continue to encourage people in their fertility journey AJ and I'm so so proud. Love you to bits!! xox

Jenn @ Bliss to Bean said...

My heart is just full of joy for you and my tears are streaming. Thank you for sharing your story, these photos (your fingers crossed each time--wow--heart wrenching!) as it really sheds light on what you went through to get your babies. I'm so happy all is well mama, congrats, congrats, congrats!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rachel Steck said...

Thank you for sharing; I wondered about this but wasn't sure how to ask you. I am so happy for you all. I told my son you were having another baby and he said 'she is? cool' = high praise from a teenager.

Katie said...

so so happy for you guys. and i agree - it is so unfair and frustrating how expensive it is and hard when the whole thing is already so hard. what a miracle delainey is and what a miracle this baby is! love you guys!

Tawnya Faust said...

I didn't realize what a tough journey you guys have been on to get pregnant!! This makes me even more happy for you :) Congrats again! XO

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I am so happy for you guys and so thankful that you are getting another miracle baby! 2/2 is amazing odds! Thanks for sharing your story. I don't know what to expect when my time comes to start a family but I appreciate how open other women have been about their journey to becoming a mom as it opens my mind to the fact that it can be possible, even when the odds are stacked against you!

Christy said...

I am so thrilled it worked for you again!!

Michelle said...

Loved reading this and so happy for you guys! Every baby is such a miracle and a blessing! So thankful!

Nicole @ Haute Runner said...

So incredible!!! Thank you for sharing your journey. It must have been a roller coaster of emotions. I'm so thrilled it worked the first time around! How amazing!! This baby is going to be so loved!

T. L. said...

This is all so exciting! Thank you for sharing your story. Infertility is something that is so rarely talked about, but it should be as SO many families deal with it. I cannot wait to see your pregnancy progress... and a new Baby Black join your family!

Kaella Carr said...

I'm so so happy for you! Thank you for sharing your story! I love the photos of you crossing your fingers! xx

Leigh said...

So happy that it worked the first time again for you guys!

Amber said...

Wow what an amazing story! I'm so so glad it worked out for you guys again and I also really admire your grace through this difficult process! Sounds like you had a great mindset and a good, positive way of looking at things.

It made me so sad to read the part about families putting a $14,000 payment on three different credit cards because they want a baby so bad. It should NOT be like this and our medical should cover these kinds of treatments.

Brie said...

Wow, what an amazing story and journey. Thank you so much for sharing it <3 We were able to get pregnant without intervention, although we had tried for two years and I had literally just gone to the doctor to start the "investigation" into why I wasn't pregnant yet and then boom, I was. So, I never, ever took my pregnancy for granted - it's such a miracle!, and I'm so happy for you guys that you get to experience it again! (And love the photos of you crossing your fingers :))