ABC's of Brutis

Today we are making the long drive from the lake to Whistler so I handed the blog over to Cruz this week. Hope she keep you entertained!
Hey readers - check this out - I get the blog all week!! Mom and Dad are never going to want to go on vacation again!! This week I am lucky enough to be at the lake with Grandma and Grampa while Mom and Dad go on a road trip. Today I have a special friend for you. He liked my ABC's so much he did his own...
Hello, my name is Brutis; I’m a Long Haired Miniature Dachshund – or as kids like to say – a fuzzy wiener dog and my pal Cruz asked me to guest post for her while she was away on vacation with her family. 
My Mom has a blog called Minivan Stiletto where honestly the kids get way too many blog posts written about them and Mom does not dedicate anywhere near enough attention or blog space towards me.
But she helped me write this post because if I am being truthful my spelling sucks and it takes me forever to type.
I hope you enjoy this post, get to know me a bit better and swing on over to my Mom’s blog sometime, she’s pretty cool.

A is for age: 6.5 and still young at heart.
B is for breakfast: Bacon, eggs and hashbrowns!  Actually I just had the same old boring food I eat every day, but Mom tells me it is bacon and eggs, or Eggs Benedict to make me feel better about eating it.

C is for currently craving: Mom and Dad tell me I have a disgusting habit, I love underwear and panties – I don’t see anything wrong with my favourite thing to chew on – I am a dog after all, but they get all mad at me when I chew them – but honestly right now that is what I am craving.

D is for dinner tonight:  I am really hoping they are having sausage and Little Boy has a temper tantrum and throws his food – then I can have sausage too.  I really miss it when the kids were smaller and they did that more often, otherwise I am eating the same damn food I ate for breakfast.

E is for favourite type of exercise:  Dad and I love to play hide and go seek in the house – he runs around the house, I chase him, and then he pulls a disappearing act and vanishes on me – of course it’s then my job to find him – seriously – this is the best fun ever!

F is for irrational fear:  Anything that appears to be moving by itself.  Helium balloons in the house totally freak me out – I think they are demon possessed and must be barked at until the demon comes out (or Mom moves them away from the furnace vents).

G is for gross food: Peas.  For some reasons those little small green peas end up on the floor quite a bit – I refuse to eat those – they are super gross and I need to make sure I have room for a piece of meat that might hit the floor.

H is for hometown: Calgary.

I is for something important: Family.  They are the bestest ever!

J is for current favourite jam:  Hmmm, I’m actually not sure what jam is, I don’t think I have ever had it, but I love peanut butter, is that close enough.

K is for kids: I have no kids.  Mom and Dad chopped off my balls a long time ago.

N is for something you need: You know when Mom cooks a chicken or turkey, first the house smells delicious, and then she takes it out of the oven and puts it on a cutting board on the counter – I really need that bird to learn how to fly off the counter onto the floor. 
I really need to eat a turkey sometime.

O is for occupation:  My job is to protect my family from all the evil people that walk on any road or sidewalk within eye sight of me.  All these people are evil and must be barked at until they know to run for their lives because I am a fierce and dangerous dog not to be messed with!

P is for pet peeve: I get a treat every night after the kids go to bed.  My pet peeve is when Mom or Dad forget (walk past me and ignore me) and sit on the couch instead.  I then take on the task of woofing at them until they understand they have forgotten me.

Q is for quote: I just want to go on record saying that I do not appreciate being dressed up at all.  MOM – STOP IT!  You might laugh your ass off, but I don’t think it’s funny at all!

R is for random fact about you: I might have been caught humping the kids once or twice.
S is for favourite healthy snack: Mom is pretty strict with my diet, so I get dog food and one chicken treat a day – but I get anything I can find on the floor or the kids leave lying around – meat is my favourite – that’s healthy right?

T is for favourite treat:  I love to rip apart Tim Horton’s coffee cups.  First I love to rip apart anything cardboard, but those coffee cups – they taste delicious!

U is for something that makes you unique: I love going to the park with the kids – and love the slides - honest – they are super fun – you have to try them.

V is for favourite vegetable:  Steak!  That’s a vegetable right?

W is for today’s workout: Well I am hoping we get to go to the park – then I can run up the stairs and hit a few slides up.

X is for X-rays you’ve had: nope, none.

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Dad came home!  He was gone 3 whole days and I missed him so much – him and I snuggle every morning – he is my best friend (but don’t tell Little Boy that, he thinks we are best friends).

Z is for your time zone:  time zone?  What is that?  Wait, what is time?  I get up when I am hungry and go to sleep when I am tired.

Thanks Brutis!!

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tiff@thecoffeehouse said...

ahhaha. Brutis ... you humping the kids is cracking me up!! So Sherman sits under our kitchen table hoping that we'll drop food as well. He is just waiting for us to have kids!

Katie said...

so funny - especially the peanut butter picture. cute idea for guest posts!

Caroline said...

Cutie! My parents have a long haired mini.

Natalie said...

Love! I have a long haired doxie. They are so wonderful!

Jenny Hill said...

Hey Readers - and commenters - Brutis' Mom here (Jenny) thanks for the comments! He is quite the character and we love him dearly!!

Becky @ said...

Hehehe, Jenny he's so cute!

Shalyn said...

This is too cute- I love the part about you telling him he is eating eggs. Too funny. He is adorable!

Jamie said...

He's so cute!

Janna Renee said...

Long haired dachshunds are SO cute! He looks like a little mischief maker :)

Whit said...

This made me laugh!! Nice work Jenny!!

Nicole @ Haute Runner said...

What a cutie Brutis is!!